Jan 17, 2018

To be honest

When people tell me, they don’t know what to

write about on social media

i always say:

just say the truth.

so this is me, saying the truth.

i am overwhelmed and tired

i don’t want to be available all the time to everyone

on every channel


i feed off of the attention

i don’t know what to say

or how to say it

that’s why i haven’t said anything on here in so long

there is so much inside I could say

but i fear nobody wants to hear me

it’s irrational

because they do

they tell me so

but I am paralysed

unable to work

and maybe i don’t want to say anything right now

i just want to be


i feel under constant pressure

to perform

to be




on top of things

to be what people are used from me

i feel pressure when someone messages me

‘i miss your videos’


‘i miss your long thoughtful captions/blogposts/newsletters’

i should be happy

that people say these things

how wonderful

isn’t it

and i am

but the pressure

is louder

it screams

and then i feel guilty

because their words don’t make me as happy as they should

and i wonder

if you like long captions

why don’t you write them yourself

if you need advice

why don’t you take a step

and DO something

after all

This is how i learned

just by doing things

i feel like i am in a game

in a race

against who?

i don’t have answers for you

i only have questions

you need to find your own answers

i don’t want to meet your expectations of me

i am allowed to change

to be

more than one thing

more than what you think I am

something new to what you’re used to

i guess

All i want to say is

i find it hard right now

to show up

And i need some space

And some grace

Maybe this doesn’t make much sense

And it’s certainly not filtered

i know

i will feel different again


this is my truth

right now.

Comment :


  1. Anastasia

    January 17th, 2018 at 12:11 PM

  2. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:26 AM

    Thank you for reading and being here Anastasia!

  3. Maria

    January 17th, 2018 at 3:35 PM

    Take your space. You have grace. Your truth is your grace <3 <3 <3

  4. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:26 AM

    Thank you Maria, thank you from my heart!

  5. Kat

    January 17th, 2018 at 5:48 PM


  6. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:26 AM

    Thank you my friend! x

  7. Eve Rox Photography

    January 17th, 2018 at 9:42 PM

    Thank you so much for always sharing everything with us and for being honest. I completely understand you. Sometimes we just need space and be still. Have your ME time Nadia. It’s ok. Take care of you. Much love Eve ????

  8. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:25 AM

    Thanks for the love Eve! x

  9. Karti / Kathi

    January 18th, 2018 at 10:48 AM

    To be honest- I love your honesty. And everybody feel the same sometimes. Me included.

    <3 <3 <3

  10. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:25 AM

    I know! It’s so great to know we are all the same at the end of the day. More people should speak out loud though.

  11. Rob Dight

    January 18th, 2018 at 4:34 PM

    Love that!!!! Your writing is excellent Nadia!

  12. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:25 AM

    ah thanks for that Rob.

  13. Alexandra Del Bello

    January 18th, 2018 at 6:50 PM

    You are incredible. You are human.

  14. Nadia Meli

    January 19th, 2018 at 8:23 AM

    Thank you beautiful human.

  15. Elnaz Shokrollahi

    January 21st, 2018 at 4:23 AM

    I read your writings all the time. It inspires me, you are talented. Keep it up :)
    Love you xoxo .. good luck in everything you do.

  16. Petra

    January 22nd, 2018 at 9:51 PM

    Hallo Nadia, solche Phasen gibt es einfach. Manchmal hilft nur aussitzen und es sich selbst gut gehen lassen. Ich finde toll dass du auch das teilst. Liebe Grüße und gute Nerven :)

  17. Ashley

    January 26th, 2018 at 3:01 AM

    i just found your youtube channel today, which led me to your website. i’m a photographer who is also in the process of rebuilding my life. You helped me realize knowing who i am, and owning my story, is key. I have a broken story, and my most beautiful lessons have been learned in police stations, courthouses and hospitals. However, i have always gotten back up, and i’ve been working harder than ever to break cycles and live this beautiful life as full, powerful and wholeheartedly as possible… today life is so much better than even a year ago… But there are still hard days, and lately i’ve had a few. i found your website, and i was inspired by your vibrant words and beautiful work.

    however, i just wanted to say this post helped me more than anything else. i can relate to this, i can empathize with you and i almost cried reading this because it means i’m not the only artist who goes through times where words are hard and what i crave is what i can’t do sometimes.

    thank you, so much. You are a beautiful soul, and you became a chapter in my own book today. i hope you read this knowing your enough, and your story is magnificent.

  18. Fabiane

    January 30th, 2018 at 11:43 AM

    Thanks for speaking out, for speaking out the truth. You are not alone with this. Today is so fastgoing and sometimes can be consuming, so take YOUR time, give yourself the space YOU need, lovely. All the best.

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